Who's That Girl?

Recently, a friend sent me a text message with a picture taken of me and some friends at a party in 2017. She captioned the picture with "Who's that girl?"  I looked at the image before me and barely recognized myself.  It has now been 9 months (almost 10) since I underwent weight loss surgery in March 2018.  And it has been life changing in a very positive way.  These months  have been full of ups mixed with a few downs.  Let's face it; making a permanent change to one's body which affects how and what you eat has to be THE biggest decision I've ever made.  To me it's an even bigger decision with more impact than when I decided to get married. Truly.

I work for a tech company where I am one of the oldest team members (uh hem... maybe THE oldest team member) and I'm pretty sure I was the most out of shape among my young colleagues.  At one point, I had to request a bigger chair for my desk as I was getting stuck in my assigned chair (true story).  Making that request was incredibly difficult for me and I was embarrassed to even have to make it. When you're battling a food addiction and your weight is soaring, your options become limited in many ways and to boot, you find yourself feeling embarrassed more often than you'd like to admit. Obesity is not an easy way of life.

Transparency

I decided early on that I would be open with anyone who asked about my weight loss experience; an open book, if you will.  And I've experienced mostly positive reactions from friends, coworkers, family members and even a few strangers.  Have there been any negative responses or experiences?
  Yes, but only a few and honestly, they're not worth mentioning here.  Almost everyone has been so happy for me and have sweetly and enthusiastically expressed to me that I'm looking great. Another question I get frequently is this: "How do you feel now?"  Great question with an easy response.  I feel great!

I mentioned in a previous post that I had kept a journal and listed things that I was unable to do or struggled with doing at my heaviest weight.  There are so many different things that I could no longer do. Simple everyday tasks that I took for granted had become super difficult or impossible for me do do. I'm now amazed at the simplicity of those tasks and it brings tears to my eyes that I've come so far and can now do all of them again.  What kind of tasks?  Glad you asked. Here's a short list of activities I was unable to do and can now do with ease:

Left: September 2017 |  Right: January 2019
  • Touch my toes
  • Tie my shoes
  • Put on socks
  • Turn over in bed easily
  • Cross my legs
  • Walk a short distance without panting
  • Get in and out of a car easily
  • Get up from a sitting position
  • Get up from sitting on the floor
  • And more...

The One Thing

What I'd like anyone reading this to know is one thing: don't take your body for granted. I certainly did.  I abused it.  I used food not as it was intended to be used - for nourishment and fuel. Food took on many roles in my day to day life.  It became my recreation, a place of comfort, an old and reliable friend, a gap filler and finally, my nemesis.  As much as I loved food and eating it, I also came to resent it for how it had changed me and was beginning to impact my health.

Truly, it's not food's fault, is it? The fault lies with my behavior and ultimately with me.  And under the forces of addiction, as humans, we become quite powerless to fight the addiction. That was certainly the case for me. I had gotten to a point in my food addiction where I couldn't win.  I tried every diet and eating plan under the sun.  I got health coaching, I used apps, I had a buddy, I had a gym membership, and I even worked with a personal trainer three different times. I was doing all the right things in the war with my oversized body, but I continued to lose the battle. Every. Single. Time. As a result, every area of my life was being impacted.  My self-esteem paid the biggest price and depression often loomed.

The Self-care Lesson

Taking care of yourself - the self-care we are always hearing and reading about - that's the MOST important thing you can do. If you don't take care of YOU, you will not be able to take care of anyone or anything else.  And as you begin to age, self-care takes on an even bigger role. If you neglect your mind and body in your 20's, it will become harder with each passing decade. That's a fact. Learn from me and my mistakes in my battle with food addiction. Choose the foods you put into your mouth to fuel and nourish your body wisely. Move your body, even if it's just taking a short walk. Give your liver a break from alcohol from time to time. And this one is very important ... laugh and love a lot.  As a result, you'll be happier, healthier and you'll move through the seasons of your life with a lot more ease.

Still Addicted?

Do I still have a food addiction?  Yes.  Will that always be the case?  Yes.  I will always have an internal battle with food and making the right choices.  But you know what?  I'm going to be alright.  I'm in control of the food thanks to my new tiny stomach. The food is no longer in control of me.

As of this writing, I've shed 115 pounds. That's a lot of weight and I'm still amazed by it.  But I feel SO much better and am much happier.  I've enjoyed shopping for new clothes and I get giddy when I'm able to fit into a size that had become a distant memory. Do I want to lose more weight?  Is there a magic number I'm looking for?  The answer to that question is that I'll let my body decide.  I'm good where I am right now.  If I lose a little bit more, that will be ok. If I don't, I'm ok with that too.  The bottom line is this:  I'm great right where I am and I'm so very happy to have added years back to my life. What could be better than that?

Have Questions?

Hit me up?  I'm happy to answer any questions you may have about my journey both pre and post surgery. These are also a few resources I've found helpful along the way:







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